overproportioNATE

I'm moving to Denver. For 3 years. I got the full-ride scholarship. I am excited but afraid. I am excited for adventure, but don't want to go. Colorado has always been a place that I could see myself, but I love my family and friends. Just wanted to update you, sorry I haven't written much lately, it has been a different level of busy lately.

The message is sitting in my gmail inbox. I can't bring myself to look at it. I feel like throwing up. I have never had the events of my life determined by an interview, or by such a seemingly small series of events. Let alone a single email. I'm not even sure that I know what I want. I'm not even sure that it should matter if I know what I want. Does what I want matter? I will know later. I'll open it with my wife. I'd post it here first, if I wasn't so terrified of opening that email. Sorry to be a tease, but if you're reading this, I'm sure I'll talk to you soon anyway. Take care.

There are things that happen in life that cause all others to cease. All other movement, momentum, is quelled. All other questions have to wait their turn. Life as it has been known, halts. I'm having a hard time being excited about much else. I wait to hear back, I wait to know. The rest of the time-piece has stopped in this pause. It is alright. It is all right. I have been having good days lately. I have been productive & happy. I love getting things done. I enjoy small steps, and progress. I also enjoy new burgers from Hardees. That's something too, isn't it? I'm looking forward to knowing. I always look forward to the knowing part of life. Even if things don't live up to the hype, I am glad to finally understand the thing. Uncertainty and indecision, they are trying, and must be lived through, but I want what they lead to.