overproportioNATE

I haven't been writing much on facebook. It isn't that I don't want to. In fact, I really would like to write a few things. Most posts I see seem to be critical of government, or other people. We are full of complaints, and it easy to see why, there's plenty to complain about in life. Or, at least, there are a lot of "complaint-worthy" things in this life. And I'd love to comment, because I'm Nate, and one of the imperfect things about me is that I always have a comment. I always want to throw in my 2 cents. Do I think we should be concerned about the government? Yes and no. Will iot affect our life? Yes. But you have no vote, it is out of your control. Your faith and hope shouldn't rest on government. And other people. Yeah, they have, do, and will drive you crazy for the rest of your life. But do you see them as hopeless, or in need of help? I don't want to be just one more voice. So much of this life is attitude and perspective.

Don't do anything to hurt someone else. The second you do that, you're in the wrong. The second you want to try to "teach someone a lesson", you have completely derailed. The best motives are absolutely destroyed. Whatever was done to you is out the window. Once you take that first swing, you are at fault, as much or more than whoever started it. It is the destroyer of churches, relationships, and worlds.

Faith was always there. She met me there on sidestreets and subways. In hallow towns and alleyways. Faith kept the light on. Every lonely night she held me there. Underfoot, or beneath the stairs. I was 17 when she ran away. It was in my prime she fled from me. And all her friends, Hope and Grace. Weren't enough, couldn't keep pace. Faith was looking rough the last few nights. She smiled, but her teeth didn't look quite right. Intoxicated, probably, and far from lonely. She spent time with all the other guys. They were just as lost as she was.

People. That is life. This current life is defined by interaction with people. It is one of only a few unique things to this life. We can later interact with God, come to know ourselves. This is the only scrap of time where we have each other, each and every one of us. How important are people to you?

I believe that the best way that have of doing some things, still bring along their own set of problems. The call of God on one's life. I've seen it used as justification for doing something selfish, I've seen it used because you can't argue with it. Christian dating. Dating to marry is the only way to go, but it adds a lot of pressure, and seeks out differences rather than commonalities, and meeting in the middle. Raising children to know the rules and be "good". It must be done, but we hinder almost as much as we help. We do so much because it is a better way, and we should, but we need to realize that any system this side of the mirror will have it's faults, it's imperfections. The things we get upset about, rebel against, and choose, will be reflected one way or another.

I'm writing a book. Well, I have been. It is hard to write about a book, especially about a topic that you care dearly about. It is a battle for me. I'm so used to getting to the climactic elements as quickly as I can. Poetry is all about making a point in a few words. It's like every letter costs you something. To be overly eloquent or detailed is to muddy up the whole thing. But the book is about a topic that hits home, and I care deeply about it. I want to drag it out, I want to tell the whole truth. Every line is precious, but I want to tell the whole story as well. It's about names, and the power that they hold. One boy's name in particular. We are so closely tied to our names, mentioning a name brings to mind a whole applecart of feelings, ideas, and memories. Some names make me smile and remember times that I've forgotten. Other names bring to mind the most terrible days, things I'd rather forget. My name is a mix. My own name. I love my name,

We have a feeling that student lead rebellion leads to change. We believe that the fight is usually worth it. We think that people are purposefully holding us back. We want to fight the man. We want, we want, we want. And we're right. Sometimes. But even the best laid plans are still human plans. Even the most beneficial rebellion isn't good for everyone. Not everything is known, more will change than we know. We will inevitably tear down a few fences, fences that we were never sure of the purpose of their construction. There is no "best way" of doing this life. Or, at least, we can't live it out, not every day. We want to know another way. But all we can do, is the best we can do every day. That is the grind and the bright hope of this life.

The world I want has a never-ending sunset. Not sunrise, I don't want to waiting for the sun to rise, I already have enough of that. The world I want is full of people with stories to tell. They aren't timid about their stories, they don't need time to think of them. They're already on their lips. The world I want has a new activity every day, except Tuesdays. On Tuesdays we build forts in the woods. The world I want has new people coming in all the time. And we have time for them. Glorious time for the new people. The world I want isn't far from home. And really, in the world I want, home remains a place that I can visit for all of my life. The world I want is full of people that realize that every decision that they make really is a representation of who they are. They realize that what they say, they should mean. They should also know that the things that they don't say, aren't known. It is a world without assumptions.

I can get caught up in thoughts. Thoughts of a more perfect life, of more time to do the things I view as important. I think that's why lottery tickets are so popular. People know the odds are terrible, but they also view a ticket as their only shot at the big time. I get caught up in similar situations in life, I would call it a weakness. The grass always looks greener, and I know that. I know that so well. But sometimes I still fall for it, hook, line and sinker. I don't want to be the one to settle for ear-tickling. I don't want to have a weakness for it, encourage it, or endorse it. We run from sin, we run from the dark.

An ideal is almost by definition, perceived from only one perspective. I'm not sure if the world is just full of contrarians, if we are just all wired differently, or if it's something else. But the ideal, anything, pick anything, is unique to each of us. The ideal life. The ideal wife. The ideal day.

Day 10 I stand alone. All is well honestly. I haven't wanted meat much more than I usually do. I have also decided to keep myself from eating what I would call "food crutches", food that would be easy for me to go a month on. I could quite easily go for a month on nothing but PB&J. But that would be easy, require no creativity, and wouldn't be particularly healthy for me. I feel about the same, I've been trying to get my 8 hours of sleep per night, I don't want to get tired. Eating a lot of fruits and vegetables, which I really don't mind. I don't want to go out to eat either, which is something I've always enjoyed. I just don't want to spend any kind amount of money on something that isn't meat. I find that be something of a waste. I will never in my life order the veggie deluxe and Subway. I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. What I want out of life, what I want to experience, the kind of place I want to be someda

There's a way that you hope life will go. I don't really know what to call that life, maybe the "ideal life". It is a wish for friends to stay near, family to stay close. You want for them all to be happy, married, kids about the same age. But life isn't that ideal. Because we are all time-bombs. We all have an experation date. That is made even more complicated when you come to learn some of those dates. When you learn and understand that your time with some of your favorites will be limited by more than just death, but by distance, by time, by children, by their own visions and hopes. There is something in us that longs for that ideal life though. And yes, some (or much) of it is selfish, but not all. We know that this isn't our home. I think we are amde to want the unending, the party that won't stop. The friendships without a timer, without an experation date.

Dandelions. I always thought that was a great analogy for what we have to offer. To anyone else, dandelions are a weed, they don't mean much of anything. But when given to a mother, it isn't the gift that she sees, it's what is behind the gift. I think that we struggle with the feeling that God really would want our "dandelions". Because what we have isn't worth much to the rest of the world. So we want to supplement our offering, we want to put a dollar amount on it, or we want to add on rules, formulas, extras. When they were never required. Another song from the same album as Five Iron's "Dandelions", is the song "All that is good", which begins with the lines: Where does the misunderstanding come from, demanding that we be outstanding and then some? Perfection never was a requirement although some might say we desired it. It isn't a requirement for Heaven. The man hanging next to Christ on the cross was far from perfect,

Day #3. Not so bad, I try to think about if I'm tired, or more hungry than usual. I don't think it has done a thing yet. It was a very busy weekend though, SS, Church, Yg Message & bowling. But it was all very good. I'm also looking at getting a different vehicle. My car does this crazy little thing where it begins to accelerate beyond my control. And the Stratus, well, something is wrong there too, my father is law is trying to figure that out for us. I want something that I won't regret, a vehicle that isn't so big that I feel ridiculous having it right now, but with enough seating that I won't regret it in a few years when kids are in the picture. It's kind of fun looking at vehicles really, I wish the nice ones weren't all so far away. Sorry, I know this is kind of just a practical update, but practical things have been on my mind lately. Have a wonderful Monday.