overproportioNATE

"I like a look of Agony, Because I know it's true— Men do not sham Convulsion, Nor simulate, a Throe— The Eyes glaze once—and that is Death— Impossible to feign The Beads upon the Forehead By homely Anguish strung." -Emily Dickinson  I would never say that I enjoy a good funeral. No one enjoys the passing of someone close. And Emily Dickinson isn't saying that she loves it when others are in pain. I hate it. I hate pain, and hurt, and sorrow.  But I love honesty. I love the solemnity that comes with looking at my own mortality. It makes everyone serious, if only for a while. And we are brought into a place where we have need, and it is obvious. We experience pain that, while it is real and cutting, it is also certain. So often there is pain in life that we can't put a finger on. A hurting that can lead to depression, and we have no certain idea where that pain is coming from. When we have a loss, a certain loss, we feel, and we know where the pain is fro...

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” G.K. Chesterton The first time that I read that quote I took it for what I thought it was. A goofy little saying about how few  people write about cheese. But their is a pretty profound point to what Mr. Chesterton is saying here. He's saying that when wise men sit down to a pen and paper, and pour their soul out onto their table, they write about great matters. There are reasons why so much has been written about God, about good and evil. We long for purpose, and we long for what satisfies. So just a quick check for myself, and maybe you as well, the reader. Do I focus on things more eternal in nature. Sure, I believe it is entirely appropriate to delve into football and baseball, if only to be able to associate with other's interests. And they do have a fair amount of adventure to them. But if it was all that I'd write about, or concern myself with. I spend an awful lot of time on all the wrong thin...

If you're looking for a fight, well, take your pick. There are plenty of issues in life to fight. Lots of sides to take. But what battles will you spend your life fighting? On what hills will you die? At least at this moment in my life, there are some battles that I have deemed important, but not something I would rest my life on. There are so many issues that deal with the decisions of others, and I feel that my own opinion is not something worth crushing into them. Also, as far as spiritual beliefs are concerned. I have mostly decided to amalgamate as best I can. As long as an issue does not affect salvation, it is more important that we can come together than that we agree on every issue (when not affecting salvation). I mostly feel this way because I live this life absolutely sure that there are a wide variety of topics and issues that I am WRONG about. And though I do not know what they are, it is my belief that just knowing that is a benefit, and it gives me a teachab...

And so it seems, much of life is about coming awake, and coming alive. Five Iron sings, blasts out, shoves through a trombone, this idea in their newest song: "Hope Still Flies" I’ve been waiting, in halfhearted sleep, For a promise I half meant to keep. Just for hoping that hope still flies, Wipe the sleep out of our sleeping eyes. Awake to what? Am I saying, or are they saying, that we are dead to most everything? That life is just a complete stumbling around in the darkness? That we should just all be emo and give up hope? Be grateful for the hope we have and just try to hold onto it? I don't think so. I think that we are to come alive, and awake, to our fullest ability. To know love, to understand hate and perhaps even worse, indifference.  Indifference is such a ridiculous thought, especially in high school where I often find myself these days. If someone says they are indifferent to you, you probably won't care. I'm pretty sure that "I don...

I like writing about our issues of irritation when I am not irrated. It takes me out of it. Allows for more objectivity. We spend an awful lot of time examining the gloves of the homecoming queen. Just how white are they? And much is made of suits and ties. And the logs in eyes. You know, the only things we seem to see. I am often frusterated by my own view of people. In particular Christians for what appears to me to be a lack of ability to "own" what they believe. To talk about an amazing grace that should be a moving thing in one's life. And in my view of the rest of the world, I am amazed by other's expectations. As if someone who does not know love should be a writer of love songs. As if someone unaffected, yet unreached by forgiveness, should be in all ways kind. Should not be a bully. Should be... Well, a lot more like me. And all of these observations, are probably neither here nor there. They are all my own subjective look at the human heart. I only k...

So you're a photographer. And I'm hiring you to take my wedding photos. You spend an awful lot of time at the wedding, however, enjoying the Hors d'oeuvres, chatting with the few people you know, and dancing to every song that ever came out of the 80's. The wedding is over. You haven't taken more than a handful of pictures. And I ask about them. You won't answer calls. You don't answer the door. Finally, years later, I finally find you downtown. At that coffee shop with the excellent scones, and that tea that reminds me of the East Coast, and we sit down and talk. And you are so afraid that I will yell and scream at you. And yell at you about how you've ruined my life. And I need my money back. And why would I ever trust you? But that isn't what I say. I say: You are a photographer. You went to school for this. I remember how you used to follow around birds. And line them up just right with the rugged hills and greenery. How you would...

You think you know fashion. Well, fashion's a stranger You think fashion's your friend. My friend, fashion is danger We do an awful lot in life for the love of the game. And fashion is one of 'em. High heels on ice. Baggy pants...well pretty much any time. Hoop skirts. Vans Shoes. We do a lot of dumb things in the name of fashion. Each friday I want to pick apart a new and different goofy behavior, until alas, and finally, there are no more. Friday #1 Shoes not made for ice, on ice. The other day, my wife wore these cute boots she has. And I'll admit, they are very cool, kind of a plaid pattern, lots of purples. They look nice. The bottoms are flat. They are very flat. No gripping, not even trying to grip.These boots should never touch the snow. But there she is, my beautiful bride, sliding around on the ice in the name of fashion. She's not alone in her crazy endeavor though. We all do plenty of ridiculous things to "look good". Yes, e...

Yeah, so I joined a gym. Its not a big deal. The psychology of it is interesting. Something I hadn't really considered before, but definitely beneficial. You pay money to go to a gym. (In our case it isn't much as the insurance company gives a nice discount). But you still pay to go. And you go to the gym together. And I know how things are made easier when you do them with other people, but it is a motivation that moves in ways you would expect, but even beyond that. I suppose that I shouldn't get too excited. You should avoid whatever comes out of the mouth of a guy who has just joined a gym just as you should avoid listening to the man who just finished his last plate at the buffet, and now claims to be going on a diet. But I want to bring this kind of psychology, that makes me think twice about buying that special K bar, because really, what am I doing at the gym if I'm just going to eat whatever, and apply it to my life. I know that is what every Bible Stud...

Today I just have a little poem for you. Hopefully you can figure out what location it is about. Its a place pretty dear to my heart. Generations of children have stood watch here. run barefooted, or hid flags in shadows. It is a fair view from this plateau, the young still run, still chase, still find. Not often does light hide beauty. Isn't till nightfall that I find what is mine. Embers grow tired and songs are fleeting, Lights, as in chorus, show up on time. I always find myself here. Near the seldom used beach, and unpicked strawberry fields. Just 'neath the farmer's reach. They start to dimly pulse, a field full of flashing lights. Grander than superbowl kickoff, there, alone, these firefly sights. I wrote this poem about my favorite place at camp. And its funny, because so often, people are taking pictures the other way. The sunset there is gourgeous, and the colors are really amazing through the trees. But after most people have gone to bed, th...

It is a Tuesday, and lucky enough (if you believe in luck) for Tuesday, someday it will mean something. I will create some kind of weekly entry for Tuesdays. You know, that thing that will make you wake up in a cold sweat. It will drive you to your computer to learn what interesting blurb has been posted, that surely pertains to your life. Ah but today is not that day. Not yet. It has still been a good day. Perhaps my best so far at the school. You know how odd it is to be back at a place that you used to essentially live? I used to be hiding in the shadows here, now its almost freeing. Freedom rocks. But today I found myself faced with convincing a student, who was essentially my past self, that school work was worth it. It went well. I used arguements that would have made sense to me. That it is worth it to make him well rounded, and yes, even though school doesn't pay you like a job would. Nothing pays off right away. But school, like an early job in life, is all a...

There are a lot of things that we deem to be powerful, and adventurous. They are the kinds of thing that are worth our time and really, our lives. If there were dragons to slay you had better believe there would be people slaying them, but alas, no dragons. So what do we seek out instead. I suppose many things are worthwhile. To see the world and give hope to people who we have never seen, and may never see again. To seek some crazy kind of adventure to make for a good story for friends, our kids. Heh.  But one thing that I have found powerful, and worthwhile, and at least a little bit overlooked is the the ability to stay. To simply stay. And not just in one place, or with people, or to remain faithful to your field, or to be loyal to a promise or dream. But maybe some of those things, or all of those things.  Staying is rare. We have a couple at our church who have been married for 66 years. Now there is a love that I want to know more about. I have known people...

You can definitely have too much or too little of someone. Anyone reading this has experienced both. I'm starting this blog for quite a few reasons. Pretty excited to have a place to smear my thoughts. Something like really seedy raspberry jam onto some not-quite-toasty toast. I think it will be just right. And as place for me to just write. heh. Glad to have you here. I will do my best to make this something worth reading, at least when you are really bored. Or when you are far away from all other human contact. Or just when you miss me. Because, be honest, I know you are out there. And you will never have an overproportioNate amount of me. I guess to start, I should let you know where I am at and a little about what you should expect to find here. I am in the 2 2/3rds year of being married. It has been excellent. My wife is without a doubt the best part of me. We are living on a quiet little block of Ortonville, right near the school. I have a pinball machine in my living r...