Today you know

Today you know Grandma. You know that I didn't hate you, that I didn't resent you. You know that I never tried to hurt the family, that all the stuff dad tried to sell you wasn't true. You know I loved you. That I missed you. Today you know that I was worth missing. Today you know that I tried. That I was more of a mediator than I could've been asked to be. You know that I gave when I didn't want to, that I thought of you, and him, more often than you knew. Today I miss you. I thought I was your favorite. But it honestly doesn't matter because you, grandma, you made me feel like I was. Thank you. I love you. I miss you more somehow, after this passing affliction, than I did in all these years prior. God Bless Grandma.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ever Do

I feel that in so much of our writing, we're trying to prove a point. I hope that at least some of my writing doesn't come across that way. I am in no position to prove a point about much. I write to observe, to record, to encourage. I'm not all that concerned with being right all along. I hope that at the end, I find out that I was wrong about a lot of things, and a lot of people. I find it interesting that so many people live (myself included) live this life, feeling that being right the first time is so important. Because the chances of being right the first time aren't that great. It isn't something to look down on. And to celebrate a person for being right the first time is kind of a waste too. We aren't worth praise. We aren't worth glory. We should just try to do the best every day. That's all we can ever do.
Read more

Mystery at its finest

Life is often just a bunch of 1's and 0's. Pick one or the other. We understand that. I think that its even pleasing. We like it when life makes sense. When we make a good choice and the result is therefore good. Often times we are able to make the same choice over and over. That kind of repitition can also produce a good feeling. Like we've been there before, a deja vu for our decision making. Its nothing new to say that life throws curveballs. But we have a hard time dealing with (and not just in our own life), situations where we don't feel a person was allowed to make that selection. Where the choice was "made for them". Many choose to shy away from those stories. And they are heavy. But I've always been fascinated by them. Torture doled out to an unwanting people. Death just handed to a young man who had so much to live for. Heroism falling upon the unexpecting one. Love and Loss. Mystery at its finest. It is the best and worst in life. I'...
Read more

If only a god could speak into our world...

 "I used to write like I had something to say." I will never stop writing lines such as these. Who I was will always be a fool. A man who knew less than he ought to. A man who could not know enough. I am thankful to always be learning more. But it makes stating anything definitively quite difficult. I will always revise my words, my thoughts. My best thought will change. Human words and reason are of limited value to me. We are far too conditional. We think of all things relative to ourselves. We are limited by experience, our background, our money, our language. There is nothing which does not limit us. If you were to travel extensively, see it all, know all cultures, all countries, all language. Well, then you'd be limited by your affluence. There is no ideal. There is no great perspective. If anything, the poor and the broken see more clearly. If only a god could speak into our world. If only He had something to say. We might have to listen to that. . . . His words mak...
Read more