Noticing

Its surreal you know, walking around this high school. I used to be so timid, so just afraid of any false move, any stupid answer, and really, of most people. So I know, whatever my calling, or future, or whatever I'd like to call it, I'm glad I'm here for at least the right now.

Its not like I run the school. But I am, dare I say, "liked". I'm cool with that. Its some kind of equality that I've been given. Its good to have it while still here on solid ground. Some dreams are deferred, you know.

I still want to see some things. I want people to understand that we mostly all know what is right and wrong, its the actual "wanting to do right" that we all need to work on. Knowing right isn't anything special, it isn't above average to even want to do good. Thats pretty universal, but its in the actual doing. Thats when you know that you're convicted.

I want to see good things for my family and friends.

I want to more know more about my future. Maybe that will take classes. I love and hate that idea. I love and hate most things. I need to start noticing which part of me does most of the hating, and which part falls in love with the more beautiful, if challenging things in life.

Maybe its just that noticing I need to work on.

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