Anti-Forgiveness
Forgiveness and Why We'll Never Get Along
Forgiveness can be a feel good behavior. It is great, and "Christian", and can mend things for at least the short term. But forgiveness, and far as I've come to know it, is used as long as it is convenient. Once you can bring up a mistake to prove a point, or to correct a current temper or attitude, you do it.
Once again, if it wasn't for my own struggles with this, I wouldn't be nearly as concerned about it.
I think you could place this kind of "antiforgiveness" in the same place as praying in from of others for attention, wordy and "fancy" and on the street-corners for attention. As well as with making sure you let everyone know that you're fasting, or dressing in rags for attention. There are so many ways that we can appear as a martyr to something that we have a hard time choosing.
Anti-Forgiveness can be particularly devastating because it not only makes the "forgiver" look good at the time of forgiveness, but it also lashes out extra-deep at the "forgiven" at a later time.
I am not perfect. I very well may be the farthest thing from it. But I know when I've been forgiven, and I know what "anti-forgiveness" feels like.
I also feel that those who have had "anti-forgiveness" extended to them, are much more likely to hold onto past hurts that they "forgave", and bring them up again. Anti-forgiveness is a cycle that can devastate relationships, and create a huge break in trust between people.
Forgiveness can be a feel good behavior. It is great, and "Christian", and can mend things for at least the short term. But forgiveness, and far as I've come to know it, is used as long as it is convenient. Once you can bring up a mistake to prove a point, or to correct a current temper or attitude, you do it.
Once again, if it wasn't for my own struggles with this, I wouldn't be nearly as concerned about it.
I think you could place this kind of "antiforgiveness" in the same place as praying in from of others for attention, wordy and "fancy" and on the street-corners for attention. As well as with making sure you let everyone know that you're fasting, or dressing in rags for attention. There are so many ways that we can appear as a martyr to something that we have a hard time choosing.
Anti-Forgiveness can be particularly devastating because it not only makes the "forgiver" look good at the time of forgiveness, but it also lashes out extra-deep at the "forgiven" at a later time.
I am not perfect. I very well may be the farthest thing from it. But I know when I've been forgiven, and I know what "anti-forgiveness" feels like.
I also feel that those who have had "anti-forgiveness" extended to them, are much more likely to hold onto past hurts that they "forgave", and bring them up again. Anti-forgiveness is a cycle that can devastate relationships, and create a huge break in trust between people.
Comments
Post a Comment