Greener Grass

I have a hard time distinguishing a selfish prayer sometimes. Is it selfish to ask God to make the grass on the other side, that seems so green, wilt? I hope for contentedness, anyone should. That isn't anything special about me. But I have a hard time ever achieving it. Life is poorly spent in defeat. It is the most needless moment. To lose is an important spot to sit. Failure is critical for any kind of growth. But defeat is a place that once can sit, can watch the grass that borders his own lawn. We can writhe in that for years, decades. I've seen it happen. It is a fruitless endeavor. It can look like martyrdom, and that is why its dangerous. It can look like Christ. And so it is replicated. This sick kind of sacrifice, made to a God I'll call the Self. So what can I pray for today?

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