overproportioNATE

Inspired by the writings of C.S. Lewis What if we met the embodiment of goodness. And we didn't like each other. Goodness would have problems with me. He would ask me questions that I would have no good answers to. He would demand more of me than I would want, or feel I could, give. And I, I would probably doubt Him. I have grown so accustomed to the vain thoughts of men, of people trying to look good, that I may mistake the very real thing, for something unreal. If God were man, he would be frustrating. He would come across as arrogant, or like  drama queen. We do not know very well what ultimate good looks like. It is so foreign that we don't know what we're looking for, or looking at. There's a reason people were blinded by angels, and unable to look on God.

I handed out my first detention of the year today. I hate doing it. I don't relish it. But there are times when it has to be done. I know that sounds very generic and details would probably be interesting, but I can't really talk about it. Just know that it was deserved. I am not confrontational. If anything, school has been a good thing for me. I know that it is MY JOB to confront bad behavior when I see it. I know that I am being paid to correct mistakes, to keep kids off their cell phones, to stop fights. It isn't always as clear in everyday life. I wish it was my job to stop all of the wrongs, but some wrongs just aren't mine to correct. They can't be.

Here he lies, he killed a thousand men. Here he lies, he loved much. I have a hard time with this kind of thought. If I were to find gravestones with those words inscribed on them, I don't know if one would be rated higher than the other. I began thinking that I would much rather prefer the latter. I would much rather be known for love. But David killed his ten thousands. David was honored for that. That was one of the areas of his life that he actually followed God in. In today's society, that is a hard thing. 140+, mostly children were just killed by the Taliban today. Killing in the name of God is, not just a tough subject, it is a monstrosity. It is hard to justify the killing on one person. If there was someone coming into my house to kill me and my wife, that's self defense, but I've never seen 10,000 pour through the door. I feel it must boil down to what God calls you to do in one place at one time. The people killed by David were not innocents. God ...

A Realistic American Christian I like different, and I like flavor, and variety, and a lot. I like meat, and potatoes. I like new, and better, and all. I want much, much, more. I want to see things the way they are, not fluffy. I will not stand for believing that things will turn out "just because". I'm not a believer in the idea that "everything happens for a reason", I believe that everything that happens, God will derive reason from them. And I will not be overly negative. There's no reason to give up hope. None. I also doubt in my own existence. I don't know if its even possible to be a Realistic American Christian. Either that, or it is a lonely, desolate kind of existence.

Henri Nouwen was a Catholic priest who went on to teach at several important institutions. He left all of that behind to work at a school for the physically and mentally handicapped. Henri also wrote that towards the end of his life he admitted to being a man with homosexual tendencies. He never acted on them for the sake of Christ. You would think, in today's world, that requiring that of someone would be something like a death sentence. How can you deny someone of  tendency, of something they were born wanting? Born attracted to? You monster. There was more to life than that, for people like Henri. For people like Paul. For people like Ruth. We all have tendencies. We all have weaknesses. The grass is greener for all of us. We believe that stolen water is sweeter. It isn't.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all of your strength, and love your brother as yourself. A lot is said by what isn't said. We are supposed to love PEOPLE. There is no qualification on that. We are to love all people equally. But, it is not a call to love all that they do. God loved us, He didn't love the state we were in. He doesn't love the sins we continue to commit. Loving people and loving everything about them are two different things. How we divide that, is why the word of God is called the "sword", or the "sword of the Spirit". Like Paul said, "Let your forbearing Spirit be evident to all." In other words, let the first thing people see in you be kindness. Let your love for them be evident. Before you tell them they're wrong, or going to hell, or poor, or wretched, or terrible. We, as forgiven and beloved people forget what that has done for us. The knowledge that all can be forgiven...

I think I'm going to make more of an effort to blog about the things I want to write on Facebook but can't. Facebook is not the place for serious conversations about important issues. And it isn't because you can't make a compelling argument, it isn't because you might be right, or because you could support people who need it. I will not make an argument for a serious topic there, simply because if there is someone that vehemently disagrees with me, I can't look them in the eye. They can't know for sure that what I say, I say in love. I say everything with a belief that we must love the sinner, and yet hate the sin. There is too much to say before I could ever begin to really say something. But this is a good place for that kind of thing. Because I think to find this blog, you would have to already want to know what I think. I don't think duct-taping my beliefs all over Facebook is particularly fair to the one not looking for my views. Even if I ...

Broken Records, the same thing over and over. They tend to be criticized, I feel bad or hopeless when I feel like I'm being one. But broken records tend to be true. Maybe that is why the feeling is troubling. I'm not so sure that broken records are floundering, they might just not have an answer, they just might not change. I don't feel that having a mind that doesn't change for a period of time is the same as fence sitting. When someone is considered to be stuck on a fence, there is an obvious belief that they are able to jump down to either side. But this... This feels much more like I am unable to choose either side. Like neither side is viable. Neither staying nor moving are what I want.

I do not suffer from indifference. I do not struggle with lack of passions. I am not a doubter of God. But like Anberlin, I doubt those he chose to carry on His cause. That is a terrible doubt, that is a terrible, corrosive doubt. I am probably a follower who is too opinionated. I have been jaded and corrupted by getting too close, by being on too many boards, going to too many meetings. I have learned too much. I have seen the darkness of man too closely. And so I doubt. I'm sorry that this post got too dark, and well, sad.  I read a really good article the other day, I think Thor posted it, about why Millenials [which I suppose I am included in], don't want to serve as pastors of established churches. It was really good. Really true. Really sad. Sorry about that too. We want to start anew, which is really small of us really. But there are a lot of churches that you could yell at forever and ever and ever, or lead by good example forever and ever and ever, and th...

Justification of actions is a critical component of mental health. To actively be foolish is a very difficult thing to do in life. I think that's a great example of how the hardest things to do in life, aren't always the best things to do. I had always thought growing up that the hardest thing, tended to be the direction of God's "call" in one's life. I am ready for something different. I need to be challenged again. I need to be able to give one thing my full attention, all of my energy, and time, and care. But more than that, because that really is just me trying hard, I need to be to be used in one place. To remember again who I work for.

As good as pills. They are handed out. Passivity brought on by hours of Candy Crush. One may achieve one wondrous achievement in a lifetime, and that would be difficult, and rare. But you can unlock as many achievements as you would like through a bevy of fun, interactive, adventure-fillled games. You can click your way to being meaningful. Meaningful. Meaningful, if it were to be described by a 5 year. If it were celebrated at birthday parties and plastic whistle New Years parties. I don't know anymore, what meaningful could even mean to a 95 year old. I don't know if it is achievable. Is it just too watered down? Do any of the sacred words mean anything anymore? Marriage? When it feels good? Integrity? When you don't get caught? Meaning? When it is easily achieved? We as pacified. We have lost our fight. And we... Don't even want it back.

The good Christian dies letting go of life. The fingers come off cleanly. The good atheist still grasps and holds to everything he can at the end. I find, and please remember that I'm 27, that few go out in any good way. Few are satisfied, few go out with any kind of grace. Any advocate of "leaving behind a better life" for future generations... I just have a hard time with you. I don't feel like life on earth right now is necessarily the worst it's ever been, but any way that you can make life "better", is such in infinitesimally small percentage of "better" that it is hardly worth it. Those that come into money in this life, may have a better standard of living, but that completely ignores their mental, and most importantly, spiritual health. The "rich" that I've come across in life have been the most out of touch, and I guess if that's what you desire, go for it. There is something in a "Good Christian"...

There are a lot of good sayings out there, many of them tie in directly with strong beliefs we have. I was reminded today of how there is a time for everything in this life, to live and to die, to plant and to harvest, to be together and to be apart. That is a very deep and important belief, and it still feels outside of my normal thought. One of the smartest men that ever lived thought and believed that. I should probably listen to that. But it still seems outside of my normal belief. Where does that fit in? How should it affect my daily life? Do I need to be more "O.K." with daily frustrations? Do I need to be alright with death and dying? Is it a plea to understand why things fail? I just don't want to be old and just figuring it out, I want to be teachable now, and figure this out now. I can understand it, but how do I live it?

Sometimes I think they sky is blue, just because it would be unbearable for it to be black. Or maybe the sea is clear, because we wouldn't swim through the unknown. Maybe the Sun is so bright, only because every nook and cranny needed to be lit up. Maybe the moon reflects the light, just because it doesn't know what else to do.

I wonder how much information has been known, and then forgotten. I wonder how many things could have been invented, but weren't. How many men and women knew the best way of doing a thing, only to bring it with them when they died. How many scientific papers, books, works, life works, have been burned? How many sculptures were destroyed by invading armies? How many mysteries lie somewhere, unfound? I think we can rest assured that either the greatest scientific discovery, or the greatest poem, or the greatest philosophical work, is not currently known, it has been lost to history. We have these bits and pieces, memories of entire people groups of statues that were, but are no more. We hear of entire libraries, full of unique works, burning to the ground. For all that is known, so much in unknown. We have the knowledge of several living generations, and the vote of many, many dead.

I am pretty sure that time travel is impossible. Not because man couldn't think it up. In a way, I feel that man is certainly smart enough to figure out how to move through time. My reasoning is that it would be stopped. It would be a new tower of Babel. It would bring us too close. We could go back before mistakes we made. We could change it all. We'll never move through time. We don't deserve to.

I have, in my time at the school, been alright going to work every single day. I have often enjoyed it, glad to wake up on a school day. Today was the first day where that didn't happen. It was certainly a mix, not feeling 100%, some frustration with students. But it was also a restlessness. How to deal with that has been a challenge in life. The grass has always looked greener, but I have always written it off as some kind of artificial coloring. A trick to get me over the fence. The difficulty in this life, in leaving your fenced in property for another, is that you can rarely go back, at least easily. Again, I am trying to sort it all out.

I enjoy trivial mystery. I like a mystery that isn't do or die, that doesn't change the course of my life. Uncertainty is fun when you can quickly reminisce about it. But the uncertainty & mystery of life, the constant question of what one should do with one's life, is exhausting. I am down to two options. Those two options will lead to two entirely different lives, with two entirely different groups of people. One will lead to seeing family more than ever, the other will change everything. Passion and desire come into play. They always do, but as a child, I didn't need to consider the impact of human lives on my dreams. I didn't think about what I would or wouldn't regret on my deathbed. How anyone is asked to decide what they should do with their lives as the tender age of 18 is not just unkind, it is unreasonable. May we be asked, over and over again, just as the answer does change.

I am not sure if I like poetry, or if it just the form I feel compelled to use. Many of my favorite writings are poems, but they needn't be. I like short stories, for their brevity, and how I am able to consume so many of them. I love how they are able to at least begin a story, leaving me to fill in the blanks with my own experience. I love the idea of many stories, many thoughts. Classic novels are wonderful and rich, and can be more memorable. But they don't seem to teach me much more than a good poem might. But here is where poems and I don't get along. There is a certain pressure in poetry, to make the rhymes work. To do it all... right. I don't always desire that rightness. I hate rhymes that mean nothing, that just are. They don't add anything, and actually take away, because my mind is taken away, to wondering why the author felt the need to put two terrible words together. I know many famous musicians have hated lyrics. Found no need for them. You c...

A dwelling is always a choice. It is where you live. It is what you concern yourself with. What you dwell in is very important, and can define you. If you dwell in excess, in too much, it can become you. If you dwell in simplicity, it can benefit you, it can help you focus on the more important and vital things of life. But anything you dwell on, or in, can ruin you. You can start to feel like your way of dwelling should be the only way. I get frustrated at the dwelling of others. But at the same time, generally, I feel like I have never felt like my way of doing life is the only way. I need to do that, I need to remember that. Because even though I honestly believe that, it doesn't mean that I have always expressed that. I want to dwell with less. I want to dwell with uplifting people. I want to dwell in partnership. I want to dwell where I am wanted, and needed. Where do we dwell? What do we surround ourselves with? Why?

I don't remember if I've written about this before, I am fairly sure that I have, possibly even recently. But I feel it today, and so here I am. I want to spend at least segment of my life doing something other than pastoring. I want to always be connected to ministry of some kind. It is the purpose of our lives. There is good news, and there are many who haven't heard it. We are messengers, I am a messenger. But for  period of time, I want to be outside of paid ministry. Not so that I can go off and sin. But just for some relief from the fishbowl that I have become accustomed to. I feel like I can't post a thing on Facebook without critique. That is not necessarily the fault of those doing the critiquing. It is much more likely simply the place that I am. I do my best to hold myself to a high standard, not that I'm perfect. But I feel like I am unable to write about anything even close to controversial. Taking a stand as a paid ministry worker is dangerous ...

Prophet Priest or King Educator, Counselor, Priest I am getting closer to defining my role. It is still difficult though. I still feel intensely the idea that I am taking my first steps down a path, which is very exciting and new. I will see a world that I have only heard about. I am going into woods that I've never been through before. But I am also leaving behind many paths that I will not have time to come back to. I want to take all of the paths. I want to be everything. In a big way, I want to learn it all. But I cannot learn how to be a teacher, a counselor, and a pastor. My life will not hold all of those things. Some paths could lead me away from home. Which many would say is a tremendously wonderful thing. But I'm not so sure. I am much more excited about the paths that allow me to linger still. Staying is hard, and I've always put more value in difficult things, almost instinctively. I'm not so sure anymore that hard things are always the best thing....

There are no high roads or low roads, we can't live that way. There is only one road. We cannot allow ourselves to think there are more options for ourselves. I want to have a healthy fear of things. We must have a healthy fear of ladders, to be careful, to use them wisely. Not an unhealthy fear of them, because if we everyone had an unhealthy fear of ladders, no light bulbs would ever get changed. There is a place for a healthy fear, you need it in dating a girl. You should care about how you treat her, how you speak, how you are a gentleman. But you shouldn't have an unhealthy fear, because you'd never try, you'd never even ask.

I am pretty jaded. The world seems bleak. I am saddened, mostly, by my experience with men in church. There are so few that will engage in spiritual conversation, fewer still who will begin one with a younger man. Few act as though God is anything more than a topic of intellectual debate, or a means to getting to an end. He is acknowledged when someone is diagnosed with cancer, heavily consulted, and then, at last breath, forgotten again. I have little desire to be a part of that world. To be a part of that church. I am even more afraid of becoming that kind of man. I think often of my own conversations. Do I bring up God? Do I pursue Him along with others? I don't want to turn into that. I can't. I won't. I am learning more about what I want to do in life. What I am passionate about, and what I can actually do. I don't know if I want to be a pastor. For the most part, in our "modern world", the pastor is almost exclusively the sole source of evangel...

I read my first classic novel in many years, A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemmingway. I liked it. It was well written. I'm not sure what to take away from it. I haven't read a classic since I began writing myself, and it was interesting to measure up a "classic" against my own expectations. I expected it to be detail rich, and to have some very quotable lines. It was those things. I was also expecting it to teach me something entirely new. I was expecting it to reveal something entirely new. I love expecting that, I love it when something, anything, a movie, a youtube clip, an article, actually lives up to the hype and makes me think something different. I want to do things in life that change me. This book certainly made me feel things. I feel the exasperation, I feel the disappointment and the anger that the book intends to leave me with. But I'm not sure that it changed me. Which is the hardest thing for me in reading this book. I want to be able to ans...

In life, some people have been given the ability to tear us down more than others. There are some, that with a word, can reduce me to nothing. I don't think that's exaggerating or wild, I think it's just honest. Anberlin wrote about it in Dismantle.Repair : "Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through Dismantle me down (repair) You dismantle me You dismantle me" It is a sad song. The saddest songs are always songs that are true. I don't know if they can dismantle us because we want something else from them, or if it's because we trust their opinion. I can say personally that the latter isn't necessarily true. I'm not sure what gives them the power. Why we let their voices through all of our defenses. But still the voices come. We should try to have a better understanding of our own breaking down.

Sorry, if for you this is a double post, just wanted to share a (very) short story. It's set to 70 degree. No humidity, and there hasn't been any snow all week. I've got the seat warmer set to low for her, just like she likes. It's still 5 minutes to six, no reason to expert her to be here for at least a few more minutes. I left my meeting, another meeting, early just to be here. I didn't want her to have to walk home alone. Its only a few blocks, but with how quickly the weather changes, I just thought I'd be a good husband today. I'm just sitting in my car, waiting for my girl. The clock has got to be the slowest object. It is just pacing itself, it seems, when the first flash lights up my rear view mirror. Something struck against the corner building on the end of the block, other side of the street. Something large. The sound floods all my senses a half a second later. The wave of energy lifts my vehicle on two wheels, then lets it go back down, l...

"There was a star in a box on his sleeve because he was a major." - A Farewell to arms, end of Ch. XV It struck me how Hemmingway wrote about the patch on a Major Surgeon's arm. He was pleased with the doctor, he had given him a good prognosis. And then we read this comment about his patch. In any kind of exploration of art and or literature, I just go into it assuming that I'm probably missing the main point of the author. All that I can write about is what the author makes me feel. At first glance it strikes me as something that just happened. The star just fell there, it just happened. Kind of off-hand, or willy-nilly. But since I've read it, I've thought about things that have "just been" because of who I am. What have been the direct results of you, being who you are? I like to believe that certain things exist because I've made them a priority. I like to believe that other things have ceased because I fought to get rid of them....

I am really starting to consider going back to school for a degree in counseling. I know that there is a tremendous need for counselors, and it's one of the things I've just always thought that I could do well at. I am sure that there are many things about that career that I'm not anticipating, things that I won't like. But I also feel like it has been on my list for a long time and I feel that I could do a lot of good in that field. I am worried about starting over. I am not sure about a timeline. I am not sure about where to go, and what specific degree I want to pursue. So yeah, there's a lot of questions. But I do want to pursue something that will allow me to have One job. I really want to have One job someday. Someday being the key word. I love one on one conversation. I can do small group, and I can do large group speaking. But one on one is special. People can be helped by just having someone else to share with. I'm looking forward to a career that...

I Believe Series I believe that I am a little bit like God. I am passionate about some of the things that He is passionate about. I fight for some of the same things, I am creative and I have desires. The good stuff has been placed there by Him. But I don't believe that He's like me. He's not judgemental like me. He doesn't run guns blazing into situations. He doesn't handle situations like me, because I way shady options against pure. I am biased, I am often wrong. When I project myself onto Him, I make a big mistake. For one, it leads me to believe that everything about Him can be understood. I can't. And I won't understand. I can't understand the why and how of everything He does. But I can know, and live with the hope, that He isn't like me. That He is better than me.

Someone may get hurt. That has stopped us from achieving so much. For fear of the feelings of one. We could offend one. We say we will tolerate everyone, and every belief. We will protect everything. You cannot protect everyone. The beliefs aren't congruent, they don't fit together like puzzle pieces. The beliefs of one, crush the beliefs of another. In our tolerance, we become more intolerant than we could ever know. We close the doors to Heaven. We keep people from knowing they could be lost. Away from home.

Writing based on: Noises-Mike Mains & The Branches The idea of noises in our head, voices that we listen to, is powerful, and true. So many conflicting ideas, so many things to chase after. We dig wells, and invest in so many different things over the course of a lifetime. This year, there will be things that I chase after that I've never even looked for before. Likewise, this year I will give up on fruitless wells from years gone by. I love the line: "I'm so used to lying". I know that's basic, but it is not an innocent line. That is a hard line to write. That line costs you something. Writing something wrong, and true about yourself, is a way to fight the voices. It is a way to write forever that you were a sinner. It is a way to write forever that you found something more true, that gave you the strength and genius to know that you were once in the dark.

Bad News, it is the first day of school. I thought that maybe I would spend today writing about my summer, in the hope that I'll never have to write about it again, though I'm sure I'll have to. I did pretty much everything that I wanted to this summer. Camp happened. It was one of the best years of camp that I've ever been a part of. Certainly the best Sr. High week. For reasons that are only known to God, it just went really well. The campers were so responsive, the talks were good, and the activities all worked. I love our staff, and the campers play a huge part in making camp what it is. After camp, Shantelle and I got away for a few days in St. Cloud, just to get away. Then a week or so later we made the trip to see Roy, and traveled together to see Five Iron in Mason City, IA. It was really awesome, a concert in an old roller skating rink. Disco Balls, great music, felt great. We spent some time in Duluth at Jeremy & Karen's with some of the best p...

Camp is a week and a half away. I am for the most part ready. I am passionate about what I'm going to be speaking about, which is more than important, it's essential. I've got a good game, some good skit ideas. I also feel confident in my staff, which is the best feeling. I hope to wrap everything up by this weekend, as there's always things that come up the week right before camp. I hope you can make some time to pray for camp, and for me. I want to give the best camp experience possible, and that only happens through a prayer. Thanks for reading, I can't wait to report back on the camp year.

I'm going to take some time to make camp the best it can be, so I might not be updating this every day. I can do some researching and writing so I'm going to take the time to do that. I'll check in here from time to time. Hope you're doing great, camp is almost here, and I want this to be the best year ever. Thanks!

Imagine the first man. He used flexed muscles that had never before been used. He spoke words that had never been uttered. He was able to see the world and make decisions about it. He was able to decide for himself what was beautiful, what was worth his time and what wasn't. He was able to make completely unique choices. He was also able to feel loneliness on a level that hadn't been experienced, but God, by any angel. He felt that uniquely. Imagine being the only one to feel those things. Do we feel things as uniquely anymore?

If ever there's a question, the answer is to love. -FIF, God Hates Flags If love is ever an option, it's the one that should be chosen. I have a hard time with bullies, and with kids that just don't know how to respond to being bullied. I see myself in so much of it I guess. I regret a lot of little decisions, but mostly, I want to make better ones.

Today is just another day. If another day is like... Christmas or something. It's the NFL Draft. It's strangely fascinating. It's like a puzzle that I've been working on over the last year, and I finally think I've solved the puzzle. So long as no teams make any trades, and the whole thing gets blown up. But... There's only one way to find out. Wish me luck, or... something. Sorry, there isn't much room in my brain to write about much else today. Hope you all have a great day, on this, most spectacular of days. Also, my condolences to my wife for the next few days. I don't know what happens to me. God Bless, I'll make it up to you sometime soon. Love.

Is it possible to write too much? Is it possible to live a life, lie on a death bed, and feel "I've said too much." I'm just wondering. I hope to get better at communicating with fewer words. Speaking more occasionally. Because words spoken should be wise words. Particularly funny words. One or the other.

I was listening to Lacuna Coil's "Our truth". I like it, it's almost spiritual. Almost... you know? But I love the title. I think that's a really clever title. It is a declaration of relative thinking, which is an important declaration to make. We all think relatively about certain things. Hopefully not morals or on the topic of salvation. But we think relatively about being wronged. We each have a perspective. Our truth is just that, ours. We may be right or wrong, we can try to be influential. How strongly you believe something will determine the hills you die on, but how strongly you believe something doesn't determine it's "rightness". I can believe strongly in something, and I do, that I'm absolutely wrong about. I've actually been fascinated by that idea for a long time. I'm actually pretty excited to find out the things that I am completely wrong about. One day, when we have to potential to learn and know all truth, the...

I want them to learn math, to be able to read well, to know how to take good notes. They should know how to listen. But we're here to teach them how to learn. How to take it in. We want for them to be willing to take it in. To be a learner in any and every situation. We must teach the ability to reason, and to be reasonable. We seem to fight any kind of debate, any kind of argument. But we must be for good debate, for fighting for the right kind of things. I want them to know why they like the songs that they like. Why is it that you enjoy that television show? Why does that movie make you feel something? What lesson can you take, even from that boring textbook? Because life is short, and to refuse to learn and grow, is to become less human, less creative, less of everything good. Even then, we mustn't let them go, or push them away, but encourage them all the more.

4 years. High School. I worked twice as long at Pepsi. When I was 4 years old, and I remember it vaguely, I thought I'd seen quite a bit at 4. But to be married for 4 years? There's something about spending a significant amount of time working through life with another person, that makes you forget about life before it. It's ok to forget. It's ok not to remember. Glad to have spent these first 4 years with you. Glad to know we've got so much more to go.

Why hasn't anyone been able to get denominations to work together? I would say that it's been a lack of effort, but it's deeper than that. There's a reason for that, there's a lack of want, a lack of desire. If we all get along, jobs are diminished, jobs are cut. Congregations combine. The very people who supposed to want to work together, are the most motivated to keep things the way that they are. It's similar to the reason why the church leadership is the way that it is. Biblically, one man shouldn't be running the show. He shouldn't be the main source of evangelism. But there's motivation to keep it that way from both sides. No pastor wants to lose his job, and laypeople want to just pay someone to take care of their spirituality. There's no motivation to change. No desire. Just His desire. I pray for direction. I pray for truth.

Giving up I think that we'd agree that giving up is not often the best way to deal with a problem. Giving up, even if it removes you from a situation, doesn't fix the problem. It puts it on someone else's plate. Giving up is an idiom, just thought that I'd point that out. The two words "giving" and "up" don't mean anything when you put them together. And giving up doesn't make much of a statement. You can give up on people, give up on a relationship.. But you're really not giving anything. You're taking. I hate to see it. I hate to see people give up on things, especially things that they've been a part of for decades. And you could say that they're throwing all of that time away, but I think more importantly, they are placing their thought in that moment above all the thinking they've been doing and absorbing for all of that time. It places so much power on the current thought.

Sorry, I've been researching for camp. But I still care. I still care.

One thing that I think will surprise us in the other side, will be the simple idea that we will all agree on what the facts are. I don't think we realize how much that influences our lives. We can't agree on the facts. We don't all agree on what's best, on what is most important. We have different priorities. Our priorities there will be in line. Of all the things to prioritize, God, others, environment, self, music, adventure, sacrifice, fun, beauty... We'll at least be able to understand the facts. We will see and know what is important to God. We are driven by these things here, and therefore, we are driven in different directions. I hope there will be something of a melding of the minds. Be able to really understand each other. See the care in each others eyes.

The ability to try. That's a highly underrated trait right there. Someone willing to try might not get it right the first time. They might make error after error. They will probably need some guidance from someone that's been around. But they will try. They will keep at it. They understand that the end goal is important and worthwhile. I want to try. I want to be reasonable. I want to be humble. I want to be like you.

Unexpected Snow It's like most unexpected things in life. They are loud and seem huge, but after time, melt away. Like having to work on a day you had off, or having an extra responsibility added on when you already feel loaded with the rest of life. They usually work out, they really do. The sun, kind of like grace, helps convert it into something more manageable and usable.

I saw God's Not Dead. It was pretty good. There was a little too much Christian Commercialization. The segment showing the life of the Islamic family was a little harsh [probably very realistic, but blunt]. There'll probably be some kind of retaliation for that. Overall, the student's response to the professor's challenge was fairly good. I mean, it wouldn't have worked with the professor that challenged me, but it was fair. I'm glad that it took an extreme life event to convince him to really change though, rather than a clever arguement of a student. God does the convincing in life.

We need to interview more dead people. I've been watching some Blank on Blank interviews on Youtube, interviews with people that are dead now. Wow, they seem so much more knowledgable now that they're dead. It's like, I guess we should listen to them now. We can argue with them, but it's pretty fruitless. So either we should start interviewing more dead people, or they just need to start talking on their own. Well, either that, or we should try to say more meaningful things.

He knew we'd get tired. I'm not particulary tired, no more than you are. But there is a tiredness to life. For me, in particular, it is driven by my personality. I don't even really enjoy the times when life really does slow down anymore. I want to keep going, keep rolling. But in all of that, I can start to lose track of what I'm really going after, what I'm really looking for. He knew that we'd have struggles. He talked like we'd have struggles. He gave parables, He told stories about how so many people would fall away, and how discouraging that would be. He knew what we would need, and He knew the things, the hopes, the healing, that we would never find on this earth. "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." We live in the old order. And that's O.K., it's the only place that we can live in, it is the only current option th...

It would take you 15 years to read the titles of every book ever written. That's used in a video to combat the idea of watching TV tonight, rather than reading a book. And while I agree, we as a country are very lazy. We are selfish, we are isolated, we limit ourselves. I also feel like it will take more than switching to a different form of media to make any real difference. Being educated is the important thing. But even at that, education also has it's limits. We can learn and believe in the right things, but until we are actually compelled to move, to actually do something, we will continue to know better, but not act any better. So yeah, maybe don't turn on the TV every night, but don't just read either. Watch some great historical speeches, listen to some music that does more than sound good, participate in some things in your community that are outside of yourself. Do some things that don't directly benefit YOU. That is something extreme, that is somethi...

I hope there's adventure there. I like to believe that He's got some tasks for me, a new world to explore, new lands, creatures, sights unseen to all but Him. I want to explore. And not just alone. I want to go with friends, experience the other side of life together. Do all of the things we never had the chance to do this side of eternity. I like to believe that there will be. When He created this world, it was full of adventure, He talked about how we were to have dominion over all creatures. We got to choose. He said that was good. He created that, He wanted that for us. It wasn't an idea that we pitched to Him. If you're listening, I'd really like to explore Your new world with friends.

At the same time. To say nothing about our current predicament, remain silent about the world that we live in, is to remove an important voice. The world that Christ was in in need of the truth as much as ours is. Imagine a silent Christ. I'm not saying that silence is never the answer. Because we can and should choose silence sometimes. But there's a big difference between being silent, and being silenced. Don't let this work silence you.

I haven't been writing much on facebook. It isn't that I don't want to. In fact, I really would like to write a few things. Most posts I see seem to be critical of government, or other people. We are full of complaints, and it easy to see why, there's plenty to complain about in life. Or, at least, there are a lot of "complaint-worthy" things in this life. And I'd love to comment, because I'm Nate, and one of the imperfect things about me is that I always have a comment. I always want to throw in my 2 cents. Do I think we should be concerned about the government? Yes and no. Will iot affect our life? Yes. But you have no vote, it is out of your control. Your faith and hope shouldn't rest on government. And other people. Yeah, they have, do, and will drive you crazy for the rest of your life. But do you see them as hopeless, or in need of help? I don't want to be just one more voice. So much of this life is attitude and perspective. ...

Don't do anything to hurt someone else. The second you do that, you're in the wrong. The second you want to try to "teach someone a lesson", you have completely derailed. The best motives are absolutely destroyed. Whatever was done to you is out the window. Once you take that first swing, you are at fault, as much or more than whoever started it. It is the destroyer of churches, relationships, and worlds.

Faith was always there. She met me there on sidestreets and subways. In hallow towns and alleyways. Faith kept the light on. Every lonely night she held me there. Underfoot, or beneath the stairs. I was 17 when she ran away. It was in my prime she fled from me. And all her friends, Hope and Grace. Weren't enough, couldn't keep pace. Faith was looking rough the last few nights. She smiled, but her teeth didn't look quite right. Intoxicated, probably, and far from lonely. She spent time with all the other guys. They were just as lost as she was.

People. That is life. This current life is defined by interaction with people. It is one of only a few unique things to this life. We can later interact with God, come to know ourselves. This is the only scrap of time where we have each other, each and every one of us. How important are people to you?

I believe that the best way that have of doing some things, still bring along their own set of problems. The call of God on one's life. I've seen it used as justification for doing something selfish, I've seen it used because you can't argue with it. Christian dating. Dating to marry is the only way to go, but it adds a lot of pressure, and seeks out differences rather than commonalities, and meeting in the middle. Raising children to know the rules and be "good". It must be done, but we hinder almost as much as we help. We do so much because it is a better way, and we should, but we need to realize that any system this side of the mirror will have it's faults, it's imperfections. The things we get upset about, rebel against, and choose, will be reflected one way or another.

I'm writing a book. Well, I have been. It is hard to write about a book, especially about a topic that you care dearly about. It is a battle for me. I'm so used to getting to the climactic elements as quickly as I can. Poetry is all about making a point in a few words. It's like every letter costs you something. To be overly eloquent or detailed is to muddy up the whole thing. But the book is about a topic that hits home, and I care deeply about it. I want to drag it out, I want to tell the whole truth. Every line is precious, but I want to tell the whole story as well. It's about names, and the power that they hold. One boy's name in particular. We are so closely tied to our names, mentioning a name brings to mind a whole applecart of feelings, ideas, and memories. Some names make me smile and remember times that I've forgotten. Other names bring to mind the most terrible days, things I'd rather forget. My name is a mix. My own name. I love my name, ...

We have a feeling that student lead rebellion leads to change. We believe that the fight is usually worth it. We think that people are purposefully holding us back. We want to fight the man. We want, we want, we want. And we're right. Sometimes. But even the best laid plans are still human plans. Even the most beneficial rebellion isn't good for everyone. Not everything is known, more will change than we know. We will inevitably tear down a few fences, fences that we were never sure of the purpose of their construction. There is no "best way" of doing this life. Or, at least, we can't live it out, not every day. We want to know another way. But all we can do, is the best we can do every day. That is the grind and the bright hope of this life.

The world I want has a never-ending sunset. Not sunrise, I don't want to waiting for the sun to rise, I already have enough of that. The world I want is full of people with stories to tell. They aren't timid about their stories, they don't need time to think of them. They're already on their lips. The world I want has a new activity every day, except Tuesdays. On Tuesdays we build forts in the woods. The world I want has new people coming in all the time. And we have time for them. Glorious time for the new people. The world I want isn't far from home. And really, in the world I want, home remains a place that I can visit for all of my life. The world I want is full of people that realize that every decision that they make really is a representation of who they are. They realize that what they say, they should mean. They should also know that the things that they don't say, aren't known. It is a world without assumptions.

I can get caught up in thoughts. Thoughts of a more perfect life, of more time to do the things I view as important. I think that's why lottery tickets are so popular. People know the odds are terrible, but they also view a ticket as their only shot at the big time. I get caught up in similar situations in life, I would call it a weakness. The grass always looks greener, and I know that. I know that so well. But sometimes I still fall for it, hook, line and sinker. I don't want to be the one to settle for ear-tickling. I don't want to have a weakness for it, encourage it, or endorse it. We run from sin, we run from the dark.

An ideal is almost by definition, perceived from only one perspective. I'm not sure if the world is just full of contrarians, if we are just all wired differently, or if it's something else. But the ideal, anything, pick anything, is unique to each of us. The ideal life. The ideal wife. The ideal day.

Day 10 I stand alone. All is well honestly. I haven't wanted meat much more than I usually do. I have also decided to keep myself from eating what I would call "food crutches", food that would be easy for me to go a month on. I could quite easily go for a month on nothing but PB&J. But that would be easy, require no creativity, and wouldn't be particularly healthy for me. I feel about the same, I've been trying to get my 8 hours of sleep per night, I don't want to get tired. Eating a lot of fruits and vegetables, which I really don't mind. I don't want to go out to eat either, which is something I've always enjoyed. I just don't want to spend any kind amount of money on something that isn't meat. I find that be something of a waste. I will never in my life order the veggie deluxe and Subway. I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. What I want out of life, what I want to experience, the kind of place I want to be someda...

There's a way that you hope life will go. I don't really know what to call that life, maybe the "ideal life". It is a wish for friends to stay near, family to stay close. You want for them all to be happy, married, kids about the same age. But life isn't that ideal. Because we are all time-bombs. We all have an experation date. That is made even more complicated when you come to learn some of those dates. When you learn and understand that your time with some of your favorites will be limited by more than just death, but by distance, by time, by children, by their own visions and hopes. There is something in us that longs for that ideal life though. And yes, some (or much) of it is selfish, but not all. We know that this isn't our home. I think we are amde to want the unending, the party that won't stop. The friendships without a timer, without an experation date.

Dandelions. I always thought that was a great analogy for what we have to offer. To anyone else, dandelions are a weed, they don't mean much of anything. But when given to a mother, it isn't the gift that she sees, it's what is behind the gift. I think that we struggle with the feeling that God really would want our "dandelions". Because what we have isn't worth much to the rest of the world. So we want to supplement our offering, we want to put a dollar amount on it, or we want to add on rules, formulas, extras. When they were never required. Another song from the same album as Five Iron's "Dandelions", is the song "All that is good", which begins with the lines: Where does the misunderstanding come from, demanding that we be outstanding and then some? Perfection never was a requirement although some might say we desired it. It isn't a requirement for Heaven. The man hanging next to Christ on the cross was far from perfect,...

Day #3. Not so bad, I try to think about if I'm tired, or more hungry than usual. I don't think it has done a thing yet. It was a very busy weekend though, SS, Church, Yg Message & bowling. But it was all very good. I'm also looking at getting a different vehicle. My car does this crazy little thing where it begins to accelerate beyond my control. And the Stratus, well, something is wrong there too, my father is law is trying to figure that out for us. I want something that I won't regret, a vehicle that isn't so big that I feel ridiculous having it right now, but with enough seating that I won't regret it in a few years when kids are in the picture. It's kind of fun looking at vehicles really, I wish the nice ones weren't all so far away. Sorry, I know this is kind of just a practical update, but practical things have been on my mind lately. Have a wonderful Monday.

27. That's not old, right? What I want in the next year: Write a complete short story. Write a lot during the summertime, maybe down at camp. Play Tennis, Croquet, and Ride Bike with friends. Spend more time doing, and less time talking. I want to use fewer words to say more. I want to have more, deeper conversations. I want to have a clearer picture for my 28th year. I want to get a different vehicle. I need to be a better friend. I need to love my wife more and more.

Hurting someone else. I've seen it, even today. It is the worst that this world has to offer.

The world you want. It's my favorite song Switchfoot's new album, simply asking if this is the world we want. The bridge goes on to say that whatever we do is our religion. Every breath. It puts a lot of weight on the everyday. I like that a lot. Because I feel like a common belief is in "someday". Someday I will do more, someday when I have the money to do it, when I have the time, when I have someone to do it with. How we say things matters, but also how we say it. Jon writes that we "have to look like what we believe". We also believe that so long as we aren't doing something terrible, we are therefor good. And while it is good, obviously, to keep from doing wrong. To be content with that is a huge problem.

"I don't care what you do, so long as you have a reason for doing it." I can see the positive, and negative side of a statement like that. When looking at another person's life, it is just that, their life. We must each be allowed to make decisions, a heavily influenced decision isn't nearly as much of a decision. Heavily influenced decisions are much more likely to be reversed later, cause tension, and may not be in line with the person "making the decision" at all. But on the other hand, to say "I don't care" about almost anything is a troublesome prospect. It should almost always be phrased differently. Indifference is a disaster of a mindset.

Who do you work for? That's the question that He asked me last summer. And when God asks you a question, it is challenging, and engaging, but it is also reassuring and incredibly beneficial. I am such a doormat style guy. I will do my best to please people, and in that may, image matters way too much to me. But I don't work for people, I don't work to satisfy their wants. I work to satisfy the One that created them. I get so caught up in this, and God was so clearly calling me out of it. I think that it's only a difficult issue because there is some overlap. We love God by loving others. And serve God by serving others. But our intent comes in to play, and stands as the difference. Are we serving others for the purpose of serving God, or are we serving others to gain something for ourselves? Also, I've really gotten into the habit of using one word titles for my posts, sorry about that.

On self-governance It's really the best that man has to offer. A government lead by the already-powerful. My main beef with it, honestly, isn't going to be over how bad it is. Where I take offense is not as much on rogue judged, attorneys that do what they can to keep themselves in business, unregulated rulers and kings. I take offense at the people that put their trust in it. We act like we could have a government that would be in line with the God that we serve. That has simply never happened, and never will. Why would the government support traditional marriage? Explain to me the secular horse in the race? When has a government ever put the lives of the voiceless before the wants of the powerfully vocal? Why does your faith rest on it? And why does it need to? And why are you bothered right now by it at all? The powerful can only reign well when they are perfect, lacking selfishness, without self-serving. So, yeah, not going to happen here. We need to get over it.

I've had doubts about anything and everything. My whole life I've defended the idea of being able to live a "normal" American life, while still being a follower of Christ. Can I hold onto everything "mine", while still giving all that is required. I think Paul would scoff at me. He would see my life as a waste of time. I've got "my" bank account, and all these things that God can't touch. So am I saying I need to give it all away? Am I saying that I need to capsize my own boat? Maybe. But will one man doing that really change anything? Maybe. I read an article about a man from Canada that won $40 million in the lottery, and gave it all to cancer research, as his wife had died of cancer 2 years prior. He was so affected that he wanted to help save others, to keep them from the suffering that he was going through. So. Maybe.

What is with our love of music? Someone will have to fill me in on that evolutionary advantage. And why do long gray winters actually affect our health? What is it that makes us long for sunshine? Why do I get so excited about a good story. It's almost like I'm built to hear them, made to want to create them myself.

I'll be happy then. Anytime anyone utters that line, they should be required by law to also say: "Maybe". It's unknown. You may reach a goal, you might have one less thing in life to accomplish, but to promise happiness, I mean, what does that even mean? What level of happiness with you have when you get that job? Or get that degree? Or have more freetime? Or even, marry that girl? Conditional happiness, in my eyes, isn't just something to be unsure of, it is almost a scourge. It is a promise of something that is so unsure. Yes, you might be happy when you get that job, but it may be more difficult than you expected, it may limit you in ways that you didn't expect. For goodness sake, you might lose a parent between now and then. We can plan for the future, but we are dust in the wind. The only moment we ever have any control over, especially pertaining to happiness, is the passing moment.

I had such high hopes for Justin Timberlake's song "Only When I Walk Away". I thought it was saying something at least a little deeper than your average pop song. Sadly, no, it is just another pop song concerned with being loved or not. And while that is raw emotion, and I could see how you see some importance in it. It fails to offer any solution, any guess even, as to the problem or how to live. There's a lot of Christian rhetoric that accomplishes essentially the same thing. They tap into the emotion, into God's love. But offer little in the way of solutions to our every day. It offers even fewer reasons as to "why?" Why change? Why go for more than enough? Why is He enough in the face of, you know, death. The mistakes we've made through history. We are taught the history of how wonderful it was when Christianity became the official religion, thanks to Constantine. But we skip right over the killing of Native Americans, right over women's ...

I like meat. It is good. It gives me what I need. It's never treated me wrong. I think it's tasty. But for the month of March I'm going vegetarian. Why? Well, there's a few reasons. I do very few things in life for only one reason. I have been critical of vegetarianism. I doubt it, I think meat is important, that's why God called us to have dominion over the land. It isn't by coincidence that cows taste good, and that they are good for us. Without meat you need to take vitamin supplements, which, you know, grow on trees and stuff. Just kidding. But anyway, I have been critical, and skeptical as you know. And so for one month I want to dive into it. I want to give it a fair shake. I'd rather be rightfully (and knowledgeably) critical than skeptical without the knowledge. I want to see how it affects me. What does do to my health? To my mood? To my energy level? Is it really difficult to make the transition? And is it difficult to come back to meat? ...

I believe. That's a tough thing to argue with. The world can fight us on facts and bring charges against many other things. They can take away rights, and books, and our chances to meet together. But our beliefs... well, we have control over them. So I want to start a new series, writing about some at least somewhat controversial topics. Today I want to start with where I stand on the Open Theism/Calvinism topic. Spoiler Alert, I'm somewhere in the middle. I believe that God knows everything. I believe that the Bible makes it clear that there are some incredibly important things that God knwos about the future. He knows who is written in the book of life, and He knows who is going to be living in eternity, that's why He's gone to prepare a place for us. And the many prophecies we read in the Bible are evidence of God's knowledge of the future. And while it isn't expressly laid out in the Bible, I mean, there is no verse that says: "God knows the future...

I like it when grown men cry. And maybe you think that's just because I'm kind of a sensitive guy, and maybe that is part of it. But I need it for more than that. Men can get upset and angry about something that they care about. But when a man sheds a tear, that says more than any word could. Emily Dickinson wrote about how she liked a look of agony, because a man can't feign agony. Agony, and choking back tears, it's not necessarily this terrible thing. We feel agony when we absolutely feel for someone else. I heard a story yesterday of a missionary in Ukraine, that was asked what he would do if he was shut off from funding in the case of his country being absorbed or controlled more by Russia. he said it didn't matter. The man sharing the story choked back tears. He experienced a little slice of agony, and it was the healthiest possible thing. I wish we weren't so quick as a society to shove that away. It makes us feel uncomfortable, so we move on, we sto...

Who we are instead. It's my favorite album title of all time, and it might have something to do with what the "theme" at camp is this year. We are going to be something in this life, good or bad, an example of what to be or not to be. Who you are going to be is all you can really control. We have a faith that says that God will be constant, and continually loving and forgiving. But what we do with that. How lazy we are in as much as we are concerned. That's as much as we've got. It's how we see Him, and this life. But it's also how we let Him affect us, how much we are willing to give. 2 Samuel 24:24 "No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing." What has it cost me today? Have I hurt for others today? You know, really felt for them. Have I turned from sin today? Have I loved with a cost today? Are we anything instead? Are we any different?

I feel that in so much of our writing, we're trying to prove a point. I hope that at least some of my writing doesn't come across that way. I am in no position to prove a point about much. I write to observe, to record, to encourage. I'm not all that concerned with being right all along. I hope that at the end, I find out that I was wrong about a lot of things, and a lot of people. I find it interesting that so many people live (myself included) live this life, feeling that being right the first time is so important. Because the chances of being right the first time aren't that great. It isn't something to look down on. And to celebrate a person for being right the first time is kind of a waste too. We aren't worth praise. We aren't worth glory. We should just try to do the best every day. That's all we can ever do.

I see the world a couple of ways. In one way, the world isn't as bad as it's been. God's message has been used to do some terrible things, to justify genocides. To claim that you're wiping out a people group for God, is so much "cleaner" than doing the same for yourself. It somehow justifies it, cleans your own slate. But in the other way, this world has little to offer anymore. It's hard to meld my mind with that of, say, Paul. Did he see things the same way. Obviously there were wrongs in the early church, people falling in love with the creation, rather than the creator. People in love with the "magic" of healing, and the signs and wonders, rather than the truly wonderful. But did Paul see nothing but bloody hands even among God's people. Paul had some reasons to be encouraged. He knew a lot of people that were trying. He had people to write to, people that were worth encouraging. There was some corruption almost anywhere, the letters t...

I know that you're probably mad at me. I've come to expect that. You know that you'll never have all of me, you've come to resent that. You say "tomato", I say "video games", you're acting so solemn. You'll take the precious remote control from me. Do I sound like Gollum? (It's) not that I'm escaping, you charm me like the flame does moths, it's just that you'd prefer me docile, like a narcoleptic sloth. The wizard needs food badly, the Voltron can't be incomplete. The things I love, you hate so madly, I must not go down in defeat. -Wizard Needs Food Badly, FIF This song is an attempt to unexplain something deep and central about the male gender. We long for adventure. We want to provide, to give, to make your life better. We want to be your hero. Some of you might want that too, some of you might, but few, if any of you, want it like men want it. If we can't find that in life, and believe me, we'd love to, the...

I always want to write about love. So whatever else you find me scribbling about, know that I'd rather be talking about love. Men are supposed to want respect right? I think that's true. I think that a lack of feeling respect, kind of blocks our love acceptors. In the end, respect leads to, is directly tied to love. Because no woman wants to be disrespected. A guy that disrespects a girl just doesn't last long. We call that guy a jerk and we move on. But guys can, and do, put up with disrespecting women, because they are pretty, or well, yeah pretty much just because of that. (Also, heads up, this is not always the case, either way. If you don't know that I am not speaking in relative terms, just stop reading anything I right. "Never" and "Always" should only really be used when speaking of God)

I fight tsunamis with an umbrella I deal the left hook like a Mother Theresa I’m facing down death like a fly on the windscreen you bring the warheads I’m bringing ice cream And I’ve got something more and I believe. -Five Iron Frenzy, I've Seen the Sun We do these things. We attempt these things. We need to stop acting like what we bring to the table is blatantly obvious to the world. We need to stop acting like the other side is wrong and they know it. They don't know. They don't know that they're wrong. But we bring this smallest little bit of truth, we bring the one thing we still believe to be sacred. We need to treat that thing with respect, that still small voice. The hills that we would actually die on. Because we've been fighting the wrong things for years. Don't devalue the bits of truth we have. Don't shy away from those things. Bring them, deliver those things, with all the power that Mother Theresa could exert into a punch. Don...

Magic. It's this mystery. Can people be hypnotized? Can a rabbit really appear out of nowhere? We've always been in love with the impossible. The story of two young people meeting at an early age, being fast friends, and falling in love is just too bland for our tastes. We love the story of the man and woman who beat the odds. We call that magic too. It's in that story, in that impossibility, that we find beauty. As if "regular" love just isn't enough. Our own stories, need to be special, and unique, and different. And if they aren't, we certainly wish that they could have been. The magic of life isn't in those things. They make great stories, but they do not contain the "magic" of love, or even of life. The journey is important, and the people you meet, the lives you touch, the stories you make and tell. But they are not the whole of life. Just as the destination, as excellent and legendary as it may be, is not the whole of life. ...

Today you know Grandma. You know that I didn't hate you, that I didn't resent you. You know that I never tried to hurt the family, that all the stuff dad tried to sell you wasn't true. You know I loved you. That I missed you. Today you know that I was worth missing. Today you know that I tried. That I was more of a mediator than I could've been asked to be. You know that I gave when I didn't want to, that I thought of you, and him, more often than you knew. Today I miss you. I thought I was your favorite. But it honestly doesn't matter because you, grandma, you made me feel like I was. Thank you. I love you. I miss you more somehow, after this passing affliction, than I did in all these years prior. God Bless Grandma.

My take on silence. Like most things in life, silence is good... sometimes. And I don't need to discuss when it isn't. I'm sure we can all remember some terrible silences. But sometimes silence is the critical part of a conversation. To allow that bit of silence after being asked a question, it helps to communicate that yes, you are thinking before you speak. Silence is one of the few things in a conversation that have the potential to make it memorable. You could let slip some secret, that would certainly make for a memorable talk. Or maybe some amazingly appropriate quote, or some brand-new saying that is a stroke of genius. But outside of that, silence is one of the best ways to show that you want to be there. Yes, I might not have all the best words, or have the right advice, or have news, but I still want to be here, and with you. We shouldn't be afraid to let a little more silence into our talks.

I think every man comes face to face with the thought; "Is this all there is?" How we answer that question, tells us a lot about that man. It also says a lot about where he's going. If he's content, he may see the necessity of providing for his family, tying up his dreams for a later time. He might be a patient man. Or he could be wasting the most precious thing we have, time. He could be gambling a wager that is greater than he understands. But to answer no. That leads to either great change, or insurmountable trouble. The civil rights movement answered "no", the women's rights movement answered "no". But "no" was the answer of the men who went on the crusades, and the answer of the men and women who declared their manifest destiny, clearing land, and entire peoples. No is a dangerous answer. Because even if pursued with good intention, with the best goals in mind, he might fall short. He might be stopped. It could be a w...